I apologize for the length, but I wanted this to be as comprehensive as possible. I figured too much detail is better than not enough. :)
Please note that the Attributes, Feats, and Skills are based on the D&D system (or KOTOR, if you're more familiar with that game).
Name: Kieran Nimh
Nicknames: Kieran Halfpaw, (the) Halfpaw
Derogatory Nicknames: (the) Dragon’s Toy, (the) Hamster, (the) Scratching Post
Race: Rat
Height: 6.5” or 14cm
Weight: 8 oz or 226.8 g
Fur: Black, with a silver belly, throat, and chin
Eyes: Pale blue
Class/Occupation: Scout
Stats
Strength: 12 (above average)
Dexterity: 16 (superb)
Constitution: 16 (superb)
Intelligence: 10 (average)
Wisdom: 10 (average)
Charisma: 10 (average)
Feats
Armor Proficiency—Medium: Kieran is capable of wearing the Medium and Light armors of the Thorn Valley Guard, but cannot wear the heaviest armor without further training.
Master Unarmed Fighting: As a Scout, Kieran received extensive training in the rodent equivalent of the martial arts. Finding that he enjoyed the training, he continued through the training regimen until reaching the top. He is among the top unarmed fighters of the Thorn Valley Guard.
Weapon Mastery—Melee Weapons: Given the covert nature of many scouting missions, expertise in melee combat is a must.
Ultimate Resilience: Kieran trained himself to enhance his already considerable natural resistance to pain and injury. This greatly enhances his survivability in a combat situation.
Skills
Healer Adept: Kieran received training as his unit’s assistant combat medic and has since studied more under the watchful eye of the unit’s medic to improve his skills.
Smith Novice: Kieran knows how to make simple repairs to his armor and weapons.
Scout Adept: Through his training as a Scout, Kieran has learned how to move quickly and quietly. This training is accentuated by his natural dexterity, making him far better at sneaking around than a rat his size has any right to be.
Equipment
Padded Doublet: Worn under the armor, this item is designed to help insulate the wearer and provide some protection against minor blows.
Camouflage Light Scout Armor: Designed more to keep the user from being seen or smelled than injured in combat. Intended only for use on scouting missions.
Camouflage Cloak: Enhances the user’s ability to sneak around undetected.
Medium Plate Battle Armor: The heaviest armor most Scouts are trained to wear. Intended for use in combat and the standard uniform of Scouts when on duty at posts outside the main colony.
Wrath (bastard sword): The paw-and-a-half sword Kieran obtained after losing most of his left paw.
Ruin (dagger): Standard-issue dagger of the Thorn Valley Scouts.
Uniform: The standard-issue uniform of a soldier of the Thorn Valley Guard, worn mainly when stationed in the colony proper.
Haversack: Kieran’s pack for when marching between duty posts.
Civilian clothes: Just what they say they are.
First aid kits: Exactly what they say they are.
Armor repair kits: Exactly what they say they are.
Apartment keys: Exactly what they say they are.
(He obviously does not carry all this all the time!)
Physical Description
Kieran’s fur is jet-black, though his stomach, throat, and underside of his lower jaw to the tip of his chin are silvery-white. His eyes are a pale, almost icy, blue. Where his fur is black, Kieran’s scars stand out as a charcoal gray. Where his fur is silver-white, the scars stand out as a snowy white.
The gene therapy affected Kieran most physically, greatly increasing his size, strength, dexterity, and overall resistance to injury and disease. He stands a full head and shoulders above Justin, though he is nowhere near as tall as Brutus. His strength is above average, though not spectacular, but Kieran makes up for this with his stunning speed and agility. Kieran is also one of the most resilient rats in the Thorn Valley Guard and is well known for aggravating broken bones and other injuries because he thought they were only “minor.” These attributes made Kieran an ideal candidate for the Thorn Valley Guard.
Intellectually, however, Kieran got gypped. While certainly not stupid, Kieran’s intellect is only at the average for the colony, which made becoming his unit’s assistant combat medic more difficult than it would have been for a bit brighter rat. The gene therapy also left his trusting and basically guileless nature alone, leaving him lacking in the cunning department and also rather easy to manipulate by rats such as Jenner.
History
Kieran does not remember much about his life prior to NIMH and therefore assumes that he spent most, if not all, his life as a test specimen there. Unlike most everyone else in the colony, Kieran feels almost no fear towards the humans. His name, in fact, was taken from the lab technician who injected him with the experimental serum. Kieran views this technician as a father figure, which doubtless contributes to his bizarre attitude towards humans. Without a true family of his own and not knowing the surname of his “father”, Kieran changed the lab’s acronym to his surname. He felt it fitting, given how many years of his life he spent within its walls. Most of the other members of the colony find his last name odd; some find it absolutely disturbing.
During the events chronicled in The Secret of NIMH, Kieran found himself supporting Jenner’s plans to steal from the farm family. However, Kieran’s support was based primarily on his desire to interact more with humans. He knew that Jenner would give him that opportunity and, being rather naïve, did not think Jenner willing to kill to get his way. He learned that the hard way after Nicodemus’ murder. Kieran has yet to forgive himself for being taken in and, however indirectly, being a part of Nicodemus’ death. Another consequence of this is that Kieran is now deeply suspicious of anyone who wishes to upset the order of things or introduce radical changes within the colony. This paranoia is rarely a good thing, and often leads to heated arguments between him and those he is close to.
Personality
Kieran is a solitary rat with few good friends and a very small ring of close acquaintances. He feels socially awkward, and his attitude towards humans does not help him fit in with the other members of the colony. It goes without saying that he is single and, while desiring companionship, doubts that anyone would ever consider becoming his mate. Despite this, he is a devoted friend.
His obsession with studying humans and learning all he can, despite the risks to himself, is the source of his many nicknames. Among his friends, he is generally referred to as “The Halfpaw” because he lost most of his left paw to Dragon on one of his excursions to the farmhouse. Showcasing his odd sense of humor, Kieran traded in his standard-issue long sword for a bastard sword after recovering from his injury. “A paw-and-a-half sword for a rat with a paw and a half. It’s perfect,” he said. Those who aren’t so fond of him refer to him as “the Hamster” because his tail was reduced to a stump on a subsequent visit. Those that really cannot stand the rat call him “the Dragon’s Toy” or “the Scratching Post”, in reference to the many scars he bears from these trips to the farmhouse.
However, despite the names, the reputation, and the scars, Kieran refuses to stop. The notes he has gathered have proven useful on occasion (such as learning when the farmers planned to summon exterminators to deal with the feral rat problem in the barn and fields), leading him to believe that his excursions are actually intelligence-gathering missions for the good of the colony. This belief has allowed Kieran to delude himself into taking greater risks, supposedly “for the good of the colony”. Since he only engages in these trips when on leave, his superior officers are powerless to stop him. They can only hope he doesn’t get himself caught, eaten, or otherwise killed between Thorn Valley and the farmhouse.
His obsession with humanity has led him to become obsessed with some human habits and mannerisms, as well as with some of their forms of entertainment. Through considerable effort on his part, he has procured scattered pages of novels, news magazines, and other printed material. Kieran keeps these tucked away safely under his bed in his quarters. His ultimate dream is to obtain an entire, in-tact novel and read it, though he doubts he will ever succeed in this.
Kieran is a dedicated soldier and one who would not hesitate to sacrifice himself to save another…or so he likes to think. That situation has yet to arise, and he is secretly glad of it. His head doubts his heart’s conviction to sacrifice himself to save one of his comrades or a civilian from harm. He is, however, a superb fighter (as evidenced by the fact that he’s survived multiple encounters with Dragon) and has a good sense of how the battle is proceeding and which of his comrades is in need of help. He has proven himself a valuable asset to his unit and has earned the grudging respect of his fellow scouts. A few even count him as a friend.
When not training, Kieran can most often be found perusing the notes from his excursions obsessively. Kieran wants to compile these notes into some sort of reference book, a sort of definitive work on humanity (or at least the humans of the farm house), but lacks the writing skill necessary to do it well. He has started the project many times and almost completed the first chapter before discarding his work as worthless and abandoning the attempt. He invariably swears he’ll never try to write the book again, but always winds up making another attempt at some point in the future. Kieran knows he needs help with the writing, but can’t work up the courage to approach any of the colony university’s professors for help.
Kieran holds the Brisby family, and Jonathan especially, in very high regard. Mice they might be, but Jonathan died in a mission to put Dragon to sleep, while Nicodemus himself met privately with Mrs. Brisby and agreed to help move her family to safety. Kieran finds himself slightly in awe of the mice because of their brief but close contact with Nicodemus, and greets them (even the children) with a respectful bow on the rare instances that he meets them.
Dude, someone actually looked at this! Awesome! :D
I was using what I remember of the 6th grade class pet rats for my basis, and I'm pretty sure they weren't anywhere near the size of any Rattus Norvegicus. :) Thank you for the corrections.
As to issues with the number of 1st-Generation NIMHs, you're probably right, but I found myself faced with two equally unpleasant options: I could whip someone up on the fly, or I could "name" a couple of the anonymous 1st-Generation rats from the movie (that's the extent of my NIMH knowledge, alas) to be parents. I have issues with messing with canon...I figured naming just one of the anonymous rats from the movie would be preferable to naming two, pairing them up, and giving them this freaky-weird rat as a son. :)
Kieran's obsession with human mannerisms and other human traits goes beyond what is normal for the colony. WAY beyond. As you say later, his obsession is "quixotic". It's also extremely dangerous, judging by the number of scars and missing body parts his actions have earned him. :)
As for the novel, I know there's a library...but Kieran doesn't want a copy. He wants an actual, 100% genuine human-sized, human copy of a human novel. :) Hence why he stores the pages he gathers under his bed--that's about the only place large enough to store a page from a book without bending or folding it.
I had looked for info on the history of the colony and the MUCK before writing up the profile, but couldn't find much. I figured they were bound to have a university system by now, but I guess I was wrong. :) So, who's this teacher of whom you speak?
And Jonathan Brisby didn't kick the bucket, huh? That's news to me. :) Where's a history of what's happened on this MUCK when you need one...?!? ;)
I appreciate the critique. I was looking mostly for any issues with Kieran being a "twinker", but problems with size and personal issues work, too. :) I'll re-vamp his size and weight and re-post the profile.
Thanks again for the critique!
~Caboose
I was using what I remember of the 6th grade class pet rats for my basis, and I'm pretty sure they weren't anywhere near the size of any Rattus Norvegicus. :) Thank you for the corrections.
You're welcome :) Don't think I managed to pop that off from the top of my head, though; I mostly relied on sites about rats, particularly this site. Check it out; it's got all of the basi information one would need to know about our favorite little critters (other than mice, of course). Mind you, some of the facts don't exactly square with RP (like how rats can't see red and only have 20/600 vision), but it's easy to explain that away as a side-effect of their injections ;)
I figured naming just one of the anonymous rats from the movie would be preferable to naming two, pairing them up, and giving them this freaky-weird rat as a son. :)
Heh, I see what you mean :3 One alternative to all that is to pair yourself up to other characters that are already on the MUCK. Some characters have certain family histories that permit additional siblings; you could just find someone willing to take your character onto their family. It's happened before ;)
He wants an actual, 100% genuine human-sized, human copy of a human novel. :)
...All right, then, I guess Kieran is officially crazy now >D
I had looked for info on the history of the colony and the MUCK before writing up the profile, but couldn't find much.
Trust me, they've been trying to get something like that done for years, but due to several factors (such as the different time zones of the players, the recent shift in player demographics, and the general pain of trying to coalesce about four to five years worth of logs) we haven't been able to get anything done on that. Your best bet would be to ask the individual players about their particular histories; I assure you, we won't disappoint ;)
So, who's this teacher of whom you speak?
That be me my main character's mother, Anita. She's the English teacher in the colony and is currently assigned to Timothy's class, much to his chagrin, as you'll find out ;) She's a very...intriguing character (as several players on the MUCK will assert), so RP with her is always interesting :D
I appreciate the critique. I was looking mostly for any issues with Kieran being a "twinker", but problems with size and personal issues work, too. :)
I'm glad you were willing to listen, and I don't think you have to worry about that. Aside from what I've pointed out, I found your character profile to be quite fascinating, imaginative, consistant, and well-written. Certainly, you and Kieran have a road full of opportunities for the future :)
See you on the MUCK!
~Matthias Connor
Don't think I managed to pop that off from the top of my head, though; I mostly relied on sites about rats, particularly this site...
Would it insult you if I told you I hadn't thought you'd popped all that information back to me right off the top of your head? ;) Thanks for the site. It has quite a lot of fascinating info on it. Considering how anthropomorphized NIMH rats are, though, I'm not sure how useful it is for anything but general information. Still, if I ever make myself a feral character, that site will be very handy indeed. :)
Heh, I see what you mean :3 One alternative to all that is to pair yourself up to other characters that are already on the MUCK...
Having never MUCKed before and not knowing anyone on here until after joining up, that was kinda out of the question. I'll keep it in mind for any future characters, though. :)
...All right, then, I guess Kieran is officially crazy now >D
What, the fact that he willingly pays the farmhouse visits and risks the wrath of Dragon isn't proof enough for you? :P
Trust me, they've been trying to get something like that done for years, but due to several factors (such as the different time zones of the players, the recent shift in player demographics, and the general pain of trying to coalesce about four to five years worth of logs) we haven't been able to get anything done on that. Your best bet would be to ask the individual players about their particular histories; I assure you, we won't disappoint ;)
So just how many characters do you have, who are they, and what are their histories? ;)
That be me my main character's mother, Anita. She's the English teacher in the colony and is currently assigned to Timothy's class, much to his chagrin, as you'll find out ;) She's a very...intriguing character (as several players on the MUCK will assert), so RP with her is always interesting :D
Well, Kieran is a rather...intriguing...character, too. Doubtless an RP with both would be equally amusing. :) Now it's just a question of whether or not Kieran would ever actually approach someone about his human obsession and the book he wants to write... :) And why does Timothy not like his teacher, I'm wondering? :)
I'm glad you were willing to listen, and I don't think you have to worry about that. Aside from what I've pointed out, I found your character profile to be quite fascinating, imaginative, consistant, and well-written. Certainly, you and Kieran have a road full of opportunities for the future :)
Once again, thank you for the feed back. It really is appreciated, and I'm glad I seem to have created a complex and interesting character. This should indeed be fun. :)
See you on the MUCK.
~Caboose
Well, you've certainly took some time to conceive and describe your character, and I must say that I'm quite impressed. still, there are some points I need to make.
Height: 6.5” or 14cm
That's a little too short. The average height of Rattus Norvegicus (the particular species of rat to which all of the NIMH rats belong) is about 17-25 cm (without the tail), and even then we shouldn't forget the increased size the NIMH treatment gave them. The scale I use is 6 rat feet=1 human foot, but please note that this isn't universally approved.
Weight: 8 oz or 226.8 g
A similar issue arises here. The average weight of an adult male rat is between 300 and 800 g. Again, the NIMH treatment also caused a general increase in this range.
Kieran does not remember much about his life prior to NIMH...
I believe that there's a sort of minor continuity issue when it comes to first-generation NIMH rodents, something about the number of such characters...However, I think this is something the wizzes can answer better.
Also, despite the changes in details the MUCK has made for various reasons, I don't think there's been any active change to the statement in the book that Justin was the youngest of the originals. Just a note...
His obsession with humanity has led him to become obsessed with some human habits and mannerisms, as well as with some of their forms of entertainment.
So, apparently, has everyone else, the day-to-day conduct of whom are strongely patterned after human modes of living; their new intelligence has probably led them to shun their natural instincts to some extent. This is one of those overlooked elements of RP that few have noticed, with the exception of Simon (and his player), who is so far the only character to have consciously deviated from the "excessive" human habits of his fellow rats. Still, this statement could be interpreted to refer to an undue fascination beyond what is normal for the colony.
His ultimate dream is to obtain an entire, in-tact novel and read it, though he doubts he will ever succeed in this.
That would be a high vision indeed...if it wasn't for the fact that the colony has a full-fledged library on the first floor :P It was compiled from books that were copied from the Boniface Estate and who knows where else (anyone who can come up with a good explanation for this gets a prize :D ).
Kieran wants to compile these notes into some sort of reference book, a sort of definitive work on humanity
See the note on the novel reading. Perhaps this could be a sort of quixotic quest for him; maybe he's not aware of the several discussions and resources available (and I don't doubt that some attempt has already been made by others using safer sources, such as debate and research).
Kieran knows he needs help with the writing, but can’t work up the courage to approach any of the colony university’s professors for help.
While several years have passed since the end of the movie, I don't think the population is large enough to justify a "university" (plus, there isn't too much need for "post-secondary" at the moment). My theory is that the teachers single out particularly gifted students and encourage them to study further in certain subjects (which is how they're able to have doctors and scientists and such). One particular teacher I know is quite qualified to assist in the subject of writing, and the English language in general... ;)
Mice they might be, but Jonathan died in a mission to put Dragon to sleep
This ought to be new to you; Jonathan is still alive on NIMHMuck! Yes, apparently he did not die during that incident with Dragon, though what exactly happened is still up for discussion (and up to his player, ultimately).
I hope I haven't been too harsh on you; I really do want to see you integrate into this community. However, I do hold a high priority to continuity, and I've always been somewhat nit-picky anyway ;)
Anyways, have a good one! ^_^
--Matthias Francisco Miguel de Leon-Connor